Self esteem is essentially how we feel about ourselves. It is the value, the worth, the appreciation and respect we have for ourselves as individuals. It is the measure of our self worth and our self love.

Confidence is primarily based in our evaluation of our abilities. It reflects how we do things. Confidence relates more to our actions, our skills, our talents, our abilities. It is the overall sense of our capabilities to accomplish our goals.

Self esteem then is a reflection of how I treat myself and confidence is a reflection of how I do things.

To raise your confidence:
  • Focus on improving your skills and abilities
  • Master your skills
  • Become efficient and effective in all that you do
  • Raise your standards for achievement
  • Strive for professionalism
  • Use your full capacity
  • Value and respect yourself in everything you do
  • Believe in yourself to go after your goals and dreams
  • Set goals for yourself and do them right away
  • Always ask for help from others. It is a sign of readiness to improve the quality of your life.
To raise your self esteem:
  • Focus on surrounding yourself with situations that are loving, friendly and supportive.
  • Spend time with quality people and quality experiences.
  • Distance yourself from negative or condemning people.
  • Have as much love, friendliness and kindness in your life as possible.
  • Choose to see mistakes as a learning experience and a necessary part of your success process.
  • Send yourself only kind and friendly thoughts.
Further ways to raise your self esteem:
  • Take full responsibility for your life, stop blaming others and give up the “victim” act. See yourself as the cause or source of what happens to you
  • Consciously generate positive thoughts and feelings of self-love and acceptance in place of old thoughts of inferiority and inadequacy. Use the affirmation and visualisation process. Be in charge of your thoughts
  • Be willing to create a lifestyle that generates, nourishes and maintains sound self esteem (associate with others with high self esteem)
  • Participate in life at the highest level you can – do things you like to do, don’t stay in a job you don’t like
  • Watch what you say, avoid self put-downs, stop being critical of yourself and others – look for something likeable in everyone you know and meet
  • Stop trying to change others – instead, focus your attention on being the way you want others to be. (Be the change you want in others)
  • Keep your awareness (thoughts) focused in present time instead of living in the past or future. Remember there are no upsets in present time
  • See yourself as being self-sufficient – don’t come from need in relationships: where need ends, love begins
  • Stop feeling guilty – see mistakes as valuable lessons. See the cause and effect in your behaviour (what produces desirable results and what doesn’t) in place of moral judgments of right/wrong, good/bad, better/worse
  • Treat yourself lovingly every chance you get – be your own best lover
  • Give yourself the simple pleasure to live abundantly – wear clothes you feel good in
  • Positively acknowledge yourself frequently and keep a journal of all your successes, ‘wins’ and accomplishments
  • Invest in yourself – go to seminars, workshops, start a self-enhancement account
  • Give yourself permission to do nothing. Periodically schedule time to be by yourself
  • Have a good picture or portrait done of yourself and display it in your home. Get your picture in the newspaper
  • Accept others acknowledgments and compliments – don’t invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you. Say thank you and let yourself enjoy them without embarrassment
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others – see yourself as being of equal worth. Remember our value as Human Beings is not derived from what we do
  • Go first class frequently. Treat yourself well, always
  • Whenever you have a thought that starts with “I have to…I need to…I ought to…I should do…I’d better” - Change it to, “I want to” or “I choose to”
  • Put integrity into everything you do – always tell the truth
  • Frequently take deep breaths – discover the benefits and pleasures of breathing fully.
  • Set goals, make plans and look for opportunities that can help you get the results you want in life
  • Make a list of all the things you like about yourself and add to it every day
  • Acknowledge others frequently; tell them what you like and appreciate about them (especially your family, partners and work associates)
  • Make a list of the 10-20 things you enjoy the most and make an agreement to do them frequently
  • Be assertive, speak up for yourself. Ask for what you want. Express your factors in determining your effectiveness as a human being with feelings, preferences and opinions openly and without fear, and accept ‘No’ as OK
  • Be respectful of others feelings and opinions
  • Treat yourself as you would others, see the true beauty in who you are.

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